To ovulate or not to ovulate, that is the question

Today is cycle day 16….ovulation should be occuring today or tomorrow or has already occured.  Have I had a single positive ovulation prediction kit??  nooooo….cuz that would be too easy. 

On the bright side, I never had a positive one with Kylie either.  So that leaves just a little hope. 

Here I am pumped full of hormones, I feel like I’m a freaking drug addict in the morning.  2 bromocriptine’s, 1 prometrium, 2 mucinex, 2 asprin and a prenatal.  And a partridge in a pear tree. 

Jesse and I are having sex like bunnies.  If I were anyother woman I know, I’d be having babies coming out of my ears.  But not me. 

I’m getting a little frusterated.  Just a little.  In the last week I’ve had about 10 people ask me how the fertilty drugs are working.  I know that they all mean well and are just trying to show that they care.  But having to actually voice the fact that I’m defective is not really the funnest thing in the world.  Believe me, I would be putting an announcement in the paper if I were finally pregnant.  Well not really, but everyone would know.  Not until the 2nd trimester.  But can you blame me?  As crazy as it sounds, I have a higher chance of miscarring than I do getting pregnant. 

Now you know why it’s hard to stay positive. 

On the 14th I’m going to say that I’m in the 2 week wait and we’ll take a test on the 28th to see if my ovaries pulled their heads out of their asses to do their jobs. 

I really want to be positive and say I think that this is my month.  But when I think it, I get the strangest feeling of de ja vu, like I’ve said that before. 

Oh the irony that is my life.  Good Lord

Clomid induced?

Maybe this rant is clomid induced, I honestly don’t know.  It’s possible I guess.  I’m not denying it. 

Having said that-here goes…

Today is our second anniversary of being married.  I know it’s not a big one.  Not our gold or even our silver.  Nevertheless, it’s our’s and no one (with the exception of Jesse and myself) remembered it. 

With marriages lasting the way that they do in this “day and age”, quite frankly I believe that making it past your first year of “wedded bliss” is a colossal achievement (aka.  a pretty big damn deal) on any couples part. 

The first year is always the hardest.  We made it through that, as well as the lesser known hardships of the second year of marriage.  We made it through…in one piece AND we still love each other as much as the day we were married. 

It just hurts my feelings that my family and closest friends didn’t remember our special day, where I’m the one who is always there on their’s.

Like I said this display of hurt feelings may be clomid induced, either way…it still hurts.

Hope

Remembering back, I always knew that I would have problems ttc.  I remember dwelling on it for a year or so, not being able to think about anything but having children.  The I did what most 21 year-old do and sort of forgot about it.

Then I met the man who is now my husband.  I’ll go into the entire story some day, but we discussed having children and five weeks later…I was pregnant. 

We thought that it would be just as easy the second time around.  Not so much.

This month marks the fifteen month point of Jesse and I trying to conceive. 

While this has been the toughest area in our marriage, (other than our daughter) it’s also been the tie that binds us.  We’ve become closer as husband wife, as friends as lovers and as parents. 

But we’re ready to make Kylie a big sister–to expand our family. 

So today is cd 4.  I started the clomid.  This time 100 mgs, versus the 50 mgs rx’d from my doctor.  I know for a fact that the 50 mgs is not working.  I used an opk everyday starting on cd 12 until I got af again and nothing.  My family doctor is not a RE and the local RE is actually out on medical leave and will not be back for another month.  After using opk’s for nearly an entire cycle, my regular doctor said that she doubted that I would conceive on just the 50 mgs.  So the month that I didn’t get af, I filled the rx for clomid, and filled it again today. 

Hopefully it works. 

Brand New

One’s first blog entry is always, I believe, the most difficult.  It’s the starting point from where your blog’s going to go and what it’s going to be about.

The plan right now is to have this blog be about family, parenting, love and ttc.  Trials, tribulations and up’s and down’s, the good, bad and ugly.

For me, starting a blog is like starting a diet.  I’ve started many and then they just fade away.  I promise you, with this one, this will not be the case. 

I’m more than excited to begin my journey toward blogging and starting my own blog.  I can’t wait to make it more my own and incorporate my personality where ever I can. 

So with this, I invite you to read, comment, add me or invite me to your blog roll or even bookmark me. 

Enjoy!